Bringing the Magic Back

by Heather Pickert (Brandon’s Sister)

Last summer pushed my spiritual journey into overdrive. When quarantine hit, I found myself spending more time alone than I ever had before, and to my surprise, absolutely loving it.

I began spending my time journaling my innermost thoughts, meditating, practicing mindfulness, and examining the patterns and mechanisms which had, up until that point, been unconsciously influencing my choices.

In general, I found myself spending more of my time in my mind, and unsurprisingly, this led me to discover a lot of truths that had previously been buried beneath constant distractions. I created affirmations for myself to manifest the best version of myself possible.

I created a gratitude journal and started to recognize the importance of gratitude, the role it played every single day in my life. I began to understand that the entirety of life is made up of a single present moment, the now, stretched out over what we call months and years and decades, and that being actively present within this moment is the key to dealing with all the crazy changes and upsets that life will inevitably present us with. 

So I have this amazing period of discovery, full of enchanting, magical experiences and wondrous moments of clarity.

And then, I changed cities. I moved to college, starting my collegiate experience in the midst of a global pandemic. And then, I got into a terrible disagreement with my closest friends which ended in us no longer speaking.

And then, I moved again.

And unfortunately through all of this change and stress and uncertainty, those lessons I had just learned, which I now needed more than ever, began to slip away and a much harsher, more dissociative, less magical, and less present version of reality started to take hold.

I felt it happening and I knew there were things to be done about it: journaling, meditation, affirmations, mindfulness, crystal work, inner healing rituals, spiritual studying- yet I found myself unable to keep up with what was calling to my soul, and instead wound up catering once again to the unhealthy patterns of behavior and vices which were calling to my lower self.

The laziness and emotional repression and neediness were kicking in. But this time, I had no blissful ignorance; the knowledge of what I should have been doing instead was driving me crazy.

And the moment that the knowledge of it stopped motivating me, I started to judge myself by it, resulting only in a vicious cycle of guilt and shame, dragging me deeper into those deep murky waters I had just recently dried off of myself. 

Now, once again in the warm glowing light of summertime, I find myself settling back into a lovely place in which I can understand myself, confront my shadow, and enjoy my moments, knowing that I am growing and improving every day.

I’m finding it easier to listen to myself and examine my thoughts without judgment, and exist on a higher plane.

But certainly not without meditating on and integrating what I have learned from the experience of drifting away from my practice. So here, I want to share the main lessons I learned from plummeting into a self-created cavern of darkness- and pulling myself back up into the light. 

1. It’s ok to fall out of practice - you will get second chances

A common fear of mine during this time of feeling lost was that I would be stuck there forever, never returning to the peace of mind I once had, never again being able to grasp a growth mindset.

I thought about how it would feel to live the rest of my life knowing about the beautiful scenes of the top of the mountain but only seeing the depths of the valleys around me.

I feared that because I had not stuck with my practice that it made me weak-minded.

These thoughts tortured me. Now, I understand that it is impossible to really lose your higher self. She will come back.

It’s okay to go through ruts and succumb to a less happy, productive, healthy version of yourself. You don’t always have it in you to lift yourself up, and that is fine.

Life is a series of valleys and peaks, one after another, and to ignore the valleys can be very destructive.

It’s important to acknowledge that you haven’t changed forever, you’re simply in a different stage of life than where you were before. 

You will get second chances when this happens, and third, and fourth, and so on.

The things you need to know, the universe will continue to teach you over and over again, so don’t think you can get off the hook that easily.

The lessons will show up again and again until you’ve got it.

So while honoring where you’re at, (as it’s important not to force yourself back into anything) also to keep an eye out for those additional chances. And when you do feel them show up, it really matters that you do your best to show up too. 

2. Repressing your feelings or not being honest with yourself will cause you to slip up on this journey.

A big step for me in returning to a place of beauty and clarity was being honest with myself about certain emotions I had been repressing.

Remember the argument with my friends?

I spent months in uncertainty about my perspective, being half convinced that I was somewhat in the wrong- if only I had communicated my point differently… if only I had talked about it with them longer… if only I could have articulated my perspective better, things might have gone a different way. And convincing myself that it was no big deal, we could still be friends later on.

It wasn’t until I began to open up to the people around me about the situation that I started to see just how much anger and sadness I had really been holding onto about the way I was treated by these people.

As soon as I noticed this I finally got up the courage to ask myself how I really felt about the situation and to honor those feelings by communicating them to the people in question.

Unfortunately, this communication was not well received.

Fortunately, I no longer felt bound to these people’s opinions of me.

I knew where I had stood all along and now they knew too.

Regardless of their interpretation of my feelings, I had put them out into the world.

I had stopped containing myself from true expression.

And no sooner did I let those feelings go than I started to feel light and free once again.

3. A community is a very important thing. 

The main thing that helped allow me to begin meditating on the truth of that situation was having people around me who I felt comfortable discussing it with.

While alone time is vital to a spiritual journey, so is having a community around you that makes you feel comfortable, and safe, and respected, and cherished.

This can be a community of 100 or of 1 or anywhere in between- the number doesn’t matter as much as the purpose it will serve in your life.

I’ve always preferred to keep my circle small and my spiritual community is no exception, but everybody is different.

Often it doesn’t even matter if the person you’re sharing with has any insight to offer on the situation, just getting your thoughts out to a sympathetic ear is enough.

However, when they do have insight to share gained from similar experiences, then you get to participate in the experience of guiding each other through hardships. 

In the west, we have an idea of love as having to be something romantic, but this is so far from the truth of what love can be.

The truth is that love is all over the place, taking many different forms.

Platonic and familial love (whether or not that comes from your blood family) are irreplaceable forces of peace, comfort, and guidance in our lives, and play a vital role in pushing us to grow.

Sometimes you just don’t have the necessary mojo to keep yourself motivated - and this is where your sentient spiritual support system swoops in and saves the day. 

4. Observation and reflection help. Judgment does not. 

Being honest with yourself about where you are is perhaps one of the hardest and most important parts of this journey.

A huge part of any kind of growth but especially spiritual growth is honest observation and reflection.

If you don’t know where you started, how can you expect to get anywhere better?

Journaling and meditation (among other practices) often involve thinking back to a past version of yourself and asking yourself the hard questions about why you acted the way you did, what was driving you, how certain things made you feel, and whether your actions were in line with or betrayed your values.

Often the first step to letting go of a toxic habit is to look it in the face and deal with it, head-on.

This requires the courage to reflect and be honest. 

However, this kind of intense shadow work isn’t meant to be done all the time.

If you are not in a place to be proactive about your bad habits and confront them in a healthy way, then obsessing over your flaws will only bring you down.

Using your spiritual goals as a measure to judge yourself by, instead of as hopeful motivation, will actually prolong those bad habits and make you feel worse for them.

This has no place in a growth-oriented mindset.

However, remember not to cover up your flaws or make excuses for them. Just evaluate yourself honestly. And don’t let knowing that you’re an extension of the divine make you forget that you’re human too - and none of us are perfect. 

We all are perfectly imperfect.

-Heather

A little bit about me: I am a child of light doing my best to grow and spread peace and strength wherever I can. I am Brandon Spratt’s half sister and good friend. I am a spiritual student discovering truths. I am a sophomore at the University of South Florida studying psychology and creative writing. I am a writer and aspiring musician. I am a creative soul with an analytical mind. I am a Taurus Earth sign, born in May in the Chinese year of the water horse. I will be writing articles chronicling my own personal journey with spirituality, and offering advice, tips, and lessons based on my experiences.

Come join us in Yoga Stars

The place where we can practice yoga and meditation together to improve all of the topics you just read about.

Ready to dive deeper into the journey of your Self? - Let’s get on a coaching call and discover how to bring out your BEST qualities so you can truly come alive and shine in this world. Click here to Learn More